Lauren

Lauren is a Lesban character who plays a major role in the series. She initially disguised herself as a Christen in an attempt to rap Sara, which failed, causing her to be more direct in her attempts

In the first story, she is introduced in Chapter 7, in order to replace Samas after she was arrested. She stays after Samas' breakout. Lauren is shown to be a more competent fighter than Sara, being able to win a 2-on-2 match without much help from her teammate, Sara. She sleeps in the same bed as Sara, but not in a lesban way. She continues to play the sidekick role throughout the story, and helps identify Evul Clon Sara by tricking her into expressing lesban thoughts. During the ending of the first story, she is Sara's housemate in a plantation house. This doesn't stick, as that ending seemingly disappeared from continuity for The REEL Sekwel.

In The REEL Sekwel, Lauren has been exposed as a lesban, and has been entrusted with a key to Hell. She has now teamed up with Katie in order to rap Sara, and has moved to Briten, lying in wait for Mettol Face to kidnap Sara for her. Eventually, she manages to lock Sara in a dungeon, and she and Katie attempt to rap Sara. However, a break-in distracts them, and lets Sara escape. Later on, she returns to the mansion, alongside a forcefield that prevents her from being cured of being a lesban. After this fails, she heads back to America, and teams up with Obama, by becoming the new President, with Obama as her proxy. She is soon beaten out of the position by Sara, and surrenders to Sara in order to save Katie from a nuclear missile, explaining that she gave Katie with the key to Hell, since Katie was a lower priority target.

In The Ultamint War Agenst Librul Evul, she has returned to the mansion in order to marry Katie. After the wedding was interrupted by Sara, she stopped taking action, and prepared for Sara to get frozen in time. While Sara was frozen, Lauren became the President again, making being straight illegal. She took over the whole world, excluding Russia, and then made America and the colonies into a monarchy, so her descendants continued to rule the world. This was undone by Sara's time traveling, leading Lauren to take part in a plot to kidnap Sara's friends to lure her in. Lauren battled Sara face-to-face in a sword duel, which was interrupted by Melanie. Lauren from the story was then merged with the actual Lauren by Melanie in order to help prove to Sara that she was not thinking. While merged, Lauren explained about how Putin annexed Seattle through a forced vote. She also faced confusion after calling Sara an imbecile, which Sara believes means to not be a lesban. When the merging was undone, Lauren was returned back to the start of her sword fight, which Sara quickly refused to perform, after realizing she was actually a lesban. Sara has expressed interest in becoming friends with Lauren again, though since the trilogy is officially over, the world may never know if this came to pass.